The Tragedy and The Beauty of a Second

 

Imagine a day without moving. We exist but at the same time we don’t.

We don’t sleep, we don’t eat, we don’t talk and we can’t even open our eyes. We don’t know if the day is gone or the night has said goodbye because time does not exist and we don’t exist in time. we don’t move, because we don’t want to, because we got lost and we just don’t want to be found. [i]

 

In a blink of an eye everything around us can change.[ii]

 

We live because we move, we breathe, we see beyond the horizon[iii] and we look forward to the passing of time because it is something that we are always conscious about. Time became a habit and it exists within the boundaries of our needs and our wants. Time became constant based on our perception about the things around us.[iv]

 

Our constant is our routine, and in between this is life itself.

 

But then again… everything can change in a blink of an eye.

 

 

Run!

 

 

You cannot escape this because you feel.

 

You felt it.

 

 

Run.

 

 

Calm.

Unknowingly wake up.

 

Struggling to open our eyes.

 

Morning where there is life flowing.

 

Transparent. Familiar.

 

 

A calm stare.

 

 

Small circles. Created distance.[v]

Seconds. Split seconds.

 

 

 

 

Gaps.

 

 

 

 

Breathe. Move. Routine is constant and in between routine is life itself.

 

 

Gap.

 

 

Gasp.

 

 

Unknowingly

a tidal wave of emotions

is about to hit us.

 

 

 

Run. But instead we Paused.[vi]

 

 

In a blink of an eye everything around us can change.

 

In a snap of a finger we hear a loud sound, echoing, sharp, lingering instant.

 

Unfamiliar.

Dream-like.

Painful.

Cries.

Lingering.

Silent.

Gaps.

 

Lost Hope.

 

 

Empty. Stare. Break. Gasp. Cold.

 

Touch. Silent. Scream.

 

 

Soon forgotten love songs.[vii]

 

 

Drowning.

 

Reality Checklist.[viii]

Broken.

Fear.

 

A familiar flower is drying.[ix]

 

 

Cut.                                                                                                                  Loose.

 

 

Cries.

 

Inside a car, listening to a song tears falling down.[x]

 

A bridge is shaken.

 

 

This is the tragedy in a second that everything can become unfamiliar and this unfamiliarity creates notions of uncertainties.

 

 

Uncertainties bring discomfort and challenges to our daily routine.[xi]

 

 

 

 

Gaps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Run.

Escape. Here. Now.

 

 

Evacuate.

 

 

In a blink of an eye everything around us can change.

 

 

When everything

seems unfamiliar,

it is a chance

to see things

from a different

perspective.

 

 

 

We live in the present, we hope for a better future.

 

But hope is different.

 

The present is different.

 

 

You start to move again and notice that there is this unfamiliar uncertainty lingering… silent… grasp.

 

 

A

Spur

Of the

Moment.

 

Hold. Different. Hope.

 

 

Maps.

 

Mapping.

Memories.[xii]

 

 

 

 

Found Hope.

We live in the present and our future is unwritten.

 

 

Hope is different.

 

 

Shared Tears fell differently.

 

 

Constant is changed.

 

 

Movement and time is not aligned anymore.

 

 

This is the beauty in a second that everything can become unfamiliar and yet this unfamiliarity creates possibilities.

 

 

Possibilities that brings comfort and passion to live again.

 

 

 

 

Grasp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hold.[xiii]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pause.

 

/jjcp2018

Notes

Buen Calubayan

 

[i]  Understanding homogenous empty time. Entering a realm where a day, a minute, or hour is equivalent. Every moment is empty.

 

[ii]  Thesis 8: The state of emergency is not an exceptional, but a normal situation… The catastrophe is the continuation of things as they are.

 

[iii]  The horizon is a site of a perceivable future. The realm of reachable destinations at the edge of the present, where our maximum range of sight is determined in order to navigate, communicate, and therefore, survive.

 

[iv]  Remember that the things around you appear depending on the limits of your imagination.

 

[v]  The distance from Caloocan to UP Bliss takes about two years to travel at the cost of at least two exhibitions.

 

[vi]  The corruption of freeplay. The family as museum. A Paracetamol story. In Homeopathy, having a fever is an indication of growth—a process where the body learns to heal on its own to develop its immune system. Fever is not an enemy of the body, but mainstream medicine’s Paracetamol thinks so by suppressing this process of healing and growth, it makes your anti-bodies lazy. It makes us dependent on medicines and therefore on the current hospital/healthcare system, which is in a state of decay and is killing us in the long run. The museum being an apparatus of neoliberalism, functions exactly as a Paracetamol in our life, history and consciousness. It stops (or delays indefinitely) the whole process in order to make us “fit for display” in its transparent glass case—like how formaldehyde functions to the body.  It puts us in a permanent state of decaying—never to fully heal. This is what we do for convenience (if not laziness): we stare at objects in the glass cases, faithfully convinced on its spoon-feeding teaching capabilities as we obediently follow the label “Please do not touch the artwork”—suppressing true learning characterized in our own processes of growth/decay/healing. This exhibition puts J’s emotions in a transparent glass case for us to see. It stops his process of feeling for almost one month in this gallery so we can stare at it all we want. Stare at it all you want but please, do not touch the works! It’s a family in permanent state of decay and/or healing/rebirth. Our intervention is not allowed. Let us leave them with their own devices inside this glass case.

 

[vii]  Can the letters in this USB save a family? See J Pacena’s pricelist.

 

[viii]  Hashtag history: #HindiPwedengWalangBulaklak  #BondmansKey  #JeloSubmarine  #Steady  #HeartachesForTwo  #911USA  #311Japan  #Yolanda  #BigasHindiBala  #PeaceTalksItuloy  #NoToWarOnDrugs  #NoToMartialLaw  #SoulSearching  #StopKillingFarmers  #SaveLumadSchools  #MRTBulok  #GanunTalagaE  #SugarHiccups  #SundayFreeplay

 

[ix]  Miski wala nang bulaklak (1999). Di pwedeng walang bulaklak (2001). Miski wala nang bulaklak (2007). Di pwedeng walang bulaklak (2008). Miski wala nang bulaklak (2017).

 

[x]  You’re disgusting.

 

[xi]  A sense of ongoing disaster; A permanent state of emergency.

 

[xii]  Memories are stored through movements of the body, not in the brain through thinking. What is your concept of quality time? For ages zero to seven, we discourage the use of any gadgets. Make your hands busy at all times. The realm of the will.

 

[xiii]  Art that celebrates victory stops fighting. Rasa Todosijevic as quoted by Jelena Vesic in “Post-Research Notes: (Re)search for the True Self-Managed Art.”

 

Other sources:

On homogenous empty time and state of emergency:

https://ceasefiremagazine.co.uk/walter-benjamin-messianism-revolution-theses-history/

 

On the notion of the horizon and the limits of imagination:

Buen Calubayan – Instructions on Viewing the Landscape (2015); Spectra of the Old Horizon (2017)

 

 

 

 

 

Notes

Buen Calubayan

i Understanding homogenous empty time. Entering a realm where a day, a minute, or hour is equivalent. Every moment is empty.

ii Thesis 8: The state of emergency is not an exceptional, but a normal situation… The catastrophe is the continuation of things as they are.

iii The horizon is a site of a perceivable future. The realm of reachable destinations at the edge of the present, where our maximum range of sight is determined in order to navigate, communicate, and therefore, survive.

iv Remember that the things around you appear depending on the limits of your imagination.

v The distance from Caloocan to UP Bliss takes about two years to travel at the cost of at least two exhibitions.

vi The corruption of freeplay. The family as museum. A paracetamol story.

vii Can the letters in this USB save a family? See J Pacena’s pricelist.

viii Miski wala nang bulaklak (1999). Di pwedeng walang bulaklak (2001). Miski wala nang bulaklak (2007). Di pwedeng walang bulaklak (2008). Miski wala nang bulaklak (2017).

ix You’re disgusting.

x A sense of ongoing disaster; A permanent state of emergency.

xi Memories are stored through movements of the body, not in the brain through thinking. What is your concept of quality time? For ages zero to seven, we discourage the use of any gadgets. Make your hands busy at all times. The realm of the will.

xii Art that celebrates victory stops fighting. Rasa Todosijevic as cited by Jelena Vesic in “Post-Research Notes: (Re)search for the True Self-Managed Art.

Other sources:

On homogenous empty time and state of emergency:

Walter Benjamin: Messianism and Revolution – Theses on History An A to Z of Theory

On the notion of the horizon and the limits of imagination:

Buen Calubayan – Instructions on Viewing the Landscape

Works

High & Dry

Size Variable Lacquer on Dried Hydrangea 2018

Found: Sonnet XVII

7 x 7 inches Data Files inside a Framed USB 2018

LOST: SOON FORGOTTEN LOVESONGS

7 x 7 inches Data Files inside a Framed USB 2018

SHARED TEARS

12 inches diameter Oil and Tears on Cloth and Canvas 2018

PAUSE

30 x 24 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

Constant

12 1/4 x 15 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

Hope

60 x 48 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

Lonbg DRIVE AND SLOW DAYS

60 x 72 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

Elipses

12 x 15 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

REALITY CHECKLIST

27 3/4 x 25 1/2 inches Oil on Canvas 2018

ESCA.PEEM HHTEIRWEE PNAOCWS.E

24 x 30 inches Acrylic, Oil and Archival Ink on Canvas 2018

Lingering. Silent. Gaps.

60 1/2 x 36 inches diptych Oil on Canvas/ Acrylic, Oil and Archival on Canvas 2018

SPUR OF THE MOMENT: SONNET LXXXI

84 x 120 inches diptych Acrylic, Oil and Archival Ink on Canvas 2018

Documentation